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This one from Child will never stop breaking my ribs.
“Nikki, I'm home!” exclaimed the pig. “Nikki?”
The pig took a quick glance around his tiny home and found Nikki, her head buried in
the crotch of a black gentleman that the pig knew to be named Jay'Von.
“Pig, come sit down,” beckoned Jay'Von.
Deathly afraid of black men, the pig's flight instincts kicked in as he ran towards the
door. Jay'Von's cousin, Big D, appeared from out of the kitchen and locked the front
The pig immediately fell to the floor and curled into a ball as a defense mechanism. But
Big D kicked him in the stomach.
“Sit on the couch, bitch,” said Big D.
The pig waddled over to the couch and sat next to Jay'Von.
He and Nikki momentarily made eye contact as she licked Jay'Von's shaft from the balls
to the tip, but went back to his shaft as she slowly went back to work servicing him.
The pig had a brief moment of confidence. “I thought we agreed that this would be done
by the time I got home at 10pm...”
Jay'Von slapped the pig in the back of the head. “Shut your damn mouth! Me and Nikki
here, we made a little deal. She's gonna suck my dick nice and slow for 4 hours, then Big
D's gonna have his way with her. In return, me and you are gonna have a little chat.”
The pig was still whimpering from the slap. “O... Okay.”
“Gimme your wallet.”
The pig handed over his wallet, and Jay'Von took out $45 and pocketed it.
“This ain't your money, this is her money. You got no money.”
“I'm a highly successful author...”
Nikki shook her head no, her mouth full of Jay'Von's manhood.
“Yeah, Nikki. I didn't think so, either. Tomorrow, you're going to apply for a job waiting
tables at Hooligans.”
“Please, no! They think I'm a respected author! Anywhere but there!”
“Shit, then Burger King. Or the fucking library. I dunno. Nikki said you did some
insurance shit, just get a job and stop freeloading, you little bitch.”
Okay, thought the pig. This would be a good time to publicly ask the showrunner of
Picard on Twitter to hire him as a writer. Or maybe write something officially to do with
Star Wars; they could use a fresh voice like his.
“Second, stop calling people ‘child’ on the internet or whatever the fuck. Nikki says
you're doing that shit all day instead of working.”
“I'm running up the score on the trolls I've defeated!” squealed the pig.
“Fuck is that shit?” called out Big D from across the room.
“Yeah, no more of that,” said Jay'Von. “Now go and get me and Big D some chicken.”
“But I... can I have my wallet back?”
“Nah, you can have these.”
He grabbed two copies of Starship Repo, autographed by the author, and handed them
to the pig.
“Why don't you find someone to buy this space shit, then you'll have the money for our
chicken. Now get the fuck outta here.”
The pig got up and scurried toward the door.
“Hold up, actually wait a second.”
Jay'Von stood up and passionately throatfucked Nikki for 20 seconds, before releasing a
geyser of semen into her mouth.
Nikki got every last drop before walking over to the pig and spitting the ejaculate all over
his face and clothes.
The pig wiped semen from his eyes as Big D began to caress Nikki's breasts and kiss her
neck, eager for his turn with the white bitch.
“Get me a Sprite too,” said Big D, leading Nikki to the pig's bedroom.
“Two chickens and a Sprite,” the pig meekly replied. He left the half-house, books in
hand, and immediately went to Twitter to tell everyone Biden has been vetted but Bernie
Should repost it for the season brotherman! I started a holiday themed story last year but never finished it. A real Tiny Tim story. I’ll actually finish it this year and let the car crashes carol this year.